The Year Before
What the moderation year actually looked like from the inside — the rules, the mental gymnastics, what it was quietly costing me that I didn't see until later. And the one question worth changing.
An honest account of the year before I stopped, the day I did, and everything nobody warned me about after.
Lisa ZGet the Guide — $27Instant download
The fear of losing yourself — your social life, your personality, your way of unwinding at the end of a hard day — is real. I had it too. It crept up slowly, and by the time I started questioning it, I was already wondering if the wine was taking more than it was giving.
I drank for three decades. Wine was my identity, my income, my culture. I sold wine as a side business. I had wine signs on my walls. When I started to look at my own relationship with it, I wasn't looking for a reason to stop — I was looking for a way to keep going that didn't cost me so much.
What followed was a year of mental gymnastics. And then something shifted.
I did it completely backward. I worked against the decision for a year — and in doing that, I accidentally built the exact pathway that made quitting permanent. April 14th, 2023 was the conclusion, not the starting line.
Three years later: I trust myself completely. My confidence is not borrowed from a glass. I live in Hawai'i. More doors opened in the two years after I stopped than in the decade before.
The woman I was afraid of becoming — the one without wine — turned out to be exactly who I actually was. And I love her more.
This is an honest account of what it actually looked like — my story, the things I identified along the way, and prompts to help you think through where you are.
What the moderation year actually looked like from the inside — the rules, the mental gymnastics, what it was quietly costing me that I didn't see until later. And the one question worth changing.
How I built a new identity before I made the decision — accidentally, without intending to quit. Why April 14th wasn't willpower. And how you'll know when you're actually ready.
The social anxiety you didn't know you had. The brain that wakes up. The confidence that doesn't wear off. And the ritual that was never really about the drink.
Reflection questions are woven throughout — not at the end, but right in the moment when they'll actually land. Writing space included. This is a guide you use, not just read.
I grew up in Dublin, Ireland, where my family owned a pub. I drank from fourteen. In my later years I sold wine as a side business. For thirty years, drinking was my culture, my personality, and a significant part of my identity.
In 2022 I spent a year trying to moderate — mentally exhausting. On April 14th, 2023, I woke up and made a decision I've never revisited.
I went public about it within ten days. I've been sharing honestly about it ever since — because the women who reached out and said I feel exactly like that made it clear this story was worth telling properly.
I now live in Oahu, Hawai'i, with my husband and our two kids. I work in marketing. I am not a life coach and I don't run a sobriety program. This is simply what I know, written down, in the hope that it helps someone get through the year I had.
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You picked this up for a reason.
You don't have to make any decisions today. You just have to be willing to be honest with yourself — which, if you're reading this, you already are.
— Lisa